The Flame and the Hawk's Eye
by PanTrunks
Summary: *ONE-SHOT* Roy reflects on his feelings at one of the worst times possible.


**The Flame and Hawk's Eye**

**Disclaimer: I do own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do not know why I would be writing this if I did, I mean I could just write more of the story to show what I want.**

** A/N: I have not seen the episodes I am using for references in a while so if something isn't just right please look over it.**

I'm just sitting here with my thoughts, in my office, about her. I do not know when it all started. I guess she started to take over my mind when I was a teenager or so. Somehow these thoughts turned into something more. They turned into happiness.

When I saw her, I would have a huge wave of happiness like nothing else mattered. But then her father had died. He had left all of his life's work with her and me. We had a heavy burden on us with the passing of someone dear to our hearts, and the fact that we were to never to give anybody her father's work, we promised ourselves we wouldn't.

Time went on, and I started to see her less and less. And then when I joined the ranks of the military as a state alchemist, I received the title "Flame Alchemist" and was used to murder hundreds upon thousands of Ishbalans.

That is when I thought of my goal, to become the Fuhrer of Amerstris and became friends with Hughes and he told me he would help me from under ranking to push me up. I needed more people I could trust to push me up also.

So I started looking through all the people who were murdering the Ishbalans and found a blonde woman digging around the ground with a sniper next to her. So I thought I'd talk to her to see what she was up to.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"This poor little kid, I think he deserves a real burial." She looked up at him and shock spread across both of their faces.

"R-Riza? What are you doing here?"

"Well after Dad died and I told you not to join I thought someone needed to look after you."

"You know you didn't have to do that. I mean, be a dog of the military just for me."

"Like I said someone needed to look after you," she teased me. "I've been thinking."

"What is it?"

"I would like you to burn off my Dad's work." She said with the sternest face I've seen on her in a long time.

"Wh-what? I can't do that! I can't hurt you like that!"

"I don't want anyone to ever use this anymore. No one will ever use it again if I get rid of it now before it's used for destruction again."

I looked at my gloves, she was right. I am the only one who actually knows how many people I have slaughtered just with a snap of my fingers.

They didn't have to see the looks on the people's faces when they saw me coming. The most horrified looks in the world. I didn't want to kill them, but I had to. I was, and still am, a dog of the military.

"Fine, I'll do it but I'm going to try my best to not hurt you."

When we came back from the war, we met at her house and I burned off the tattoo that her father had left on her. Her screams were miserable, and just the thought of them pained me. To this day thinking of her screams still pains me.

"Lieutenant," I called while I was lounging my chair with my legs up on the desk.

"Sir?" she said not looking up from her paperwork.

"Your hair was much shorter back then."

She stopped her doing paper work and looked up at me, "What?"

"I was just thinking about the past. And before we met the Elric brothers and Winry Rockbell, your hair was much shorter." I said whiling leaning on my hand.

"Don't you like it, sir?"

"No it's not that I do like it. In fact I think it suits you better than your short hair."

"Thank you sir," She went back to work.

"So, are you going to go through with it?"

"With what, sir?"

"Tomorrow, are you really going to do it?"

She put down her pencil and looked at me directly in the eye. "Yes, I am."

My entire being just split in two, and then fourths, and so on until I felt only pain, then I went numb.

"What's wrong?" she's actually concerned, I can tell 'cause it's the only time she drops formalities with me.

"Nothing, nothing wrong, just do me a favor. Make sure you're happy." I had to look down so she couldn't see my face.

"Roy I kno-"she sighed, "I'll be happy. But tell me this."

"What?"

"Are you coming?" she stood up and pulled a chair right up next to me and turned the chair to make me look at her. "I am talking to you as a friend not as a superior. Are you coming?"

"Riza, I do not know if I am coming or not yet. But I guess I can try," To see her leave kills me. I can't see it, I just can't.

"Roy I know this is last minute but because dad is dead, I need to know this. Will you give me away? You are the closest male to me that isn't Victor. Please, I'm begging you."

A shocked look came across my face if only for a second, then I smirked, "I wish I could see you like this more often Lieutenant."

"Oh, shut up. But sir please." She grabbed my hand, "Please do this."

"No."

"Wha- what?" she stammered.

"No."

"But sir, you're all that I have to do it."

"Get Armstong to do it."

"NO! Damn, it Roy! I wanted YOU to give me away! I want YOU to walk me down that aisle! I want YOU to be there for ME!" She stood up and started to scream.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" I stood up and glowered down at her. "Have you ever thought that I don't want to give you away? That I don't want to walk you down the aisle?"

"N- I, I don't know what you mean."

"Riza, I do not want to, nor will I ever want to give you away! I don't want to go because I don't want you to leave! I don't want to see you with some other man!"

"Other man, OTHER MAN? Victor is not just some "other man" he's the guy I love. The guy I'm going to marry."

I walked closer to her, making her back up, "No he's not, ooooh, no he is not. Riza, you may marry him tomorrow, but," I started, "you don't love him. He is not the man you love." I pinned her against the wall with my arms on either side of her.

"How should you know who I do, and do not, love?" she glared at me through tearful eyes.

"Because I know who you love….and I know who I love." I slightly tugged on her hair.

"Roy, did you drink before came inside?" she asked while moving her face away from mine.

"No, actually, I didn't. I never meant for you to find out like this, at this time, but damn it Riza, how couldn't you see? How could you not see that I love you? I can't give away the best thing I have! I am NOT going to have to deal with another friend being lost!" I said it, I said it all, all that I have been dealing with this whole month since I got the invitation.

No matter what, I will never let her go. Never.

"DAMN IT! You choose now to tell me! The night before my wedding! I am going to marry Victor no matter what!" she knocked my arm off the wall and walked to the door, "I don't expect you to show at the wedding. What would Hughes say to you right now?" she ran out the door and slammed it.

She was right.

Hughes would say, "Now I told you to get a wife but I didn't mean to steal someone else's wife."

I waited an hour and called Riza an hour later.

"What do YOU want."

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier."

"Well thank you, and is there something else you would like?"

"No."

"Ok then night sir."

"Night."

I walked over to where I keep the alcohol and grabbed the vodka bottle. I heard a noise at the door and didn't think anything off it.

"You know you shouldn't drink out of the bottle." I turned around and saw Havoc standing in the door way.

"Havoc, there is a point in time where a man needs to drink right out of the bottle, and right now, is the perfect time," I walked back to my chair and looked out the window.

"The perfect time, huh? Did you tell her?" he said walked over to my desk.

I took another drink, "Tell who what?"

"Hawkeye, that you love her."

"Yes I did."

"So she took it bad?"

"She asked me to give her away. It didn't go to well."

"Harsh," He lit a cigarette, "you know just being there will mean the world to her."

"I'm not going. I'm not going to lose one of my coworkers again."

"You mean friends; and trust me you will not lose her, she will still be here. And I have a strong feeling that she is trying to move on from you. So she's going to marry someone she really doesn't want to. Just like you and all of those girls you dated. Did you ever realize that all of the girls you dated were like Hawkeye and the man she is going to marry tomorrow is just like you? She is trying to find the substitute for the thing she really loves."

"Wow, I'm talking to you, of all people, about this."

"Sir, just remember what I'm telling you." He started to walk outside. "Oh, and I better see you in a tux tomorrow. I heard from a little bird's eye that you look really handsome in a tux instead of military uniform." And he left.

I kept on drinking. The burn of the drink slowly going down felt good. And soon it just went numb. Everything went numb. I chugged the rest of the bottle and passed out.

I woke up at 10:30; two hours until the wedding. I need to go home.

11:00 one and a half hours until the wedding. I should take a shower to wash off the depression of last night.

11:30 one more hour. I should eat something.

12:00 a half an hour. I'm walking around my apartment thinking of what to do I walked by my tux and I knew what I had to do.

12:10 twenty minutes. "This traffic needs to hurry the hell up!" I honk my horn to try to speed up traffic. "Come on!"

12:15 fifteen minutes. I'm still in the traffic jam. Maybe if I burn all the cars in front of me I'll get there faster. No, I won't do that.

12:20 ten minutes. I finally got out the city and was driving around the country side like a mad man.

12:25 five minute. "NO, NO, NO, NO! Damn you car WORK! I have to get to the wedding! NO, No, no. I have to show, I have to walk her down, no matter what. I get out of the car and run as fast as I can. I can finally see the church and I run faster. I have never in my entire life ran this fast.

12:28 two minutes left. I run inside and see the one I love in the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.

She looked at me with a shocked look on her face, "You're here"

"Nothing could make me miss it. You look beautiful," I pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you. It was my mothers."

"And I bet you look as beautiful as she did when she wore it." I let go of her. "May I still walk you down the aisle?"

"I don't know you have to ask the big guy over there."

I looked over to see Major Armstrong bawling his eyes out, "Hey, big guy could I please walk this beautiful young woman here?"

"Oh, you if you want too you can. It's just that everything is just, so, beautiful!" he grabbed me into a crushing hug.

"Hey! I need to breathe to walk her down."

"Ok, go do it then!"

12:30 no time. "Well then, let's go," I walked down the aisle with the woman I love to give her away to a man that wasn't me. I watched her say I do and kiss the man known as Victor.

At the wedding reception, I started to drink again and once again Havoc walked up to me. "See, it's better to not drink out the of the bottle. And I'm happy to see you came. See, you do look pretty good in the tux…You know, that birds eye told me it was happy that you came."

"Well tell that little bird's eye that it was really hard to see it."

"Tell me what?" There she was in her dress, looking so radiant I could have kissed her right then and there.

"Nothing, but may I have a dance with the bride?"

"Why, yes, you may." I took her over to the dance floor and started to dance with here\ and the song changed to a slow song.

"You can dance with your…husband if you would like."

"No, no, it's fine I listen to my high-ups and you told me to dance with you." She smiled the best smile in the world.

I pulled her close to me, "You know you really do look beautiful today."

"Thank you. And you don't look half bad yourself. Thank you for coming, I'm really happy you came, I was hoping you would."

I got closer to her ear so no one could hear me, "I hope you realize how hard it was for me to give you away."

She rested her head on my shoulder, "I thought it would be. I'm sorry that you had to do that. I really am happy that you could go through that for me."

"Well, I'm useless if my first lieutenant isn't happy."

"You're useless if you're unhappy too you know."

"How many times have you said I was useless?"

"I don't know; how many times did you get in trouble while it was raining?"

"You're right." It finally hit me that I will never be with the one I have loved for all these years. She's married, she could start a family, she's happy and that's all I want.

Sure I'll be with her at work, and see her there, but at work she could get hurt at any moment. And working under a state alchemist like me won't help that at all.

"Lieutenant."

She looked up at me, "Sir?"

I hid my face behind my hair, "It's starting to rain."

"wha-? Yes it is sir, yes it is."

**A/N: So, I know that I said that I wanted to get in more stories this summer….Yeah, that didn't happen but I worked all day today to get this in. It is now 1:50 am and I am super sleepy, but I hope you liked my story.**

**So, school starts next Monday and this is the only thing I got in this summer. I'm sorry just stories never came to mind just this one. Well, there is just one way to end this.**

**Read and review :)**


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